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Have you been thinking about working with an executive coach to further your career? Are you considering coaching to help you make those key changes you know will meaningfully increase your effectiveness as a leader?
As someone who coaches leaders every day, I have a few simple “operating instructions” for how to get started with coaching and realize the most out of your coaching engagement.
Get really clear on your Why. Why do you want a coach? What goals are you trying to achieve? What behaviors do you want to change? What impact will your change have on you, your people, your effectiveness as a leader? Why now? Don’t boil the ocean–focus on the most impactful goals and behaviors (usually the ones we’ve received feedback on throughout the years!).
Ground yourself in the knowledge that hard work will be required. As well-known executive coach Marshall Goldsmith states in his book Triggers, “Meaningful behavioral change is very hard to do.” You are the only one who can do the work, and you are the only one who knows your level of commitment to meaningful change. Do you have the time, capacity and energy to do the work? Don’t just consider your work life; are you in a position personally to commit to this work, now?
Find the right coach (for you). Referrals from trusted sources are often the best way to connect with coaches. The people who know you best may have a sense of who will be a good fit. All coaches have models and frameworks and you’ll want to make sure you like their approach. But more importantly, do you have a connection with that person? Do you feel safe and seen? Are they going to listen deeply and provide an environment of support and accountability?
Be completely honest. With yourself, and with your coach. If your coach doesn’t know the good and the bad and if you’re not willing to face your fears and failures, this process won’t really work. This is the time to stop explaining things away.
Commit yourself to a good 6 months of work. Everyone’s process is different. It might take longer, and you may make initial progress quickly; but lasting behavioral change takes effort, time and repetition. Most importantly, it requires internal courage and intentional self-awareness.
Welcome the gift of feedback from your stakeholders. Your boss, peers, direct reports, friends and family…they experience you every day. They will tell you the truth if you create the space to hear it. They are your most crucial source of honesty and accountability in this process.
A key learning from my own experience with a coach is the importance of building relationships with candid, trusted colleagues who supported my journey of development. With peers who were willing to be honest with me about my strengths and flaws, I found a much higher level of self-awareness. It certainly didn’t always feel comfortable, but knowing people will be honest because they want to see you at your best is truly a gift. What truths or tips have you learned from coaching or being coached? Please share!